


You Will Be Understood

by SAMURAl



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Ableism, And by squint I mean read with your eyes open because it's so obvious, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autism, Autistic Gou | Goh, Autistic Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Bullied Gou | Goh, Bullying, Comfort, Fluff, Gou/Satoshi hinted at, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mute Gou | Goh, Neurodivergent Gou | Goh, Neurodivergent Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Pokemon Journey, Self-Portrayal, Short One Shot, it's there if you squint, neurodivergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25556938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAMURAl/pseuds/SAMURAl
Summary: Every word still came through crystal clear, if not louder than before, wincing as his nails lightly dug into his scalp. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted it to stop, all of it. The noise, the fear, the bullying. Gou just wished it would all go away.
Relationships: Gou | Goh & Koharu | Chloe, Gou | Goh & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Gou | Goh/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum
Comments: 1
Kudos: 115





	You Will Be Understood

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Just a quick warning there is slight ableism hinted at and bullying in the beginning. It's not a lot, but just a small heads-up!
> 
> I've never written neurodivergent characters as this is my first time doing so, and of course I self-portrayed onto Gou (haha look at the kinnie), so please keep that in mind as you read! The oneshot might seem a little stale since I've been experiencing writer's block due to recently getting a job, the main reason it's taken so long for me to get to posting anything!
> 
> (Also if you like the HC of neurodivergent Gou/Satoshi dm me on Twitter @_SAMURAl please it is everything to me ewlkfjl)
> 
> With all of that out of the way, I hope you enjoy! <3

_ Too much… _

_ “... what’s wrong? You too baby to understand what we’re saying? Why don’t you turn on…” _

**_It’s too much…_ **

_ “... oh no! Is the dumbass zoning out again? He really can’t get his head on straight can he…” _

**_It’s too much!_ **

_ “C’mon, Gou! Chin up! It’s just a simple question!” _

**_“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”_ **

**-**

Sakuragi Institute. The one place that he found to be his home, safe place, and the first thing he’d run to whenever this happened. Those kids always bothered him. From 3rd grade on they were nothing but bullies, doing everything from tripping him in the hall to fighting him until he was able to make an opening and run. His throat felt tight as his feet painfully hit the floor, red sneakers causing a slow ache to start and grow, the soft foam cushions of the inside having worn out at some point. 

Sprinting up the stairs he eventually found himself at the large double doors, not hesitating to harshly pull one open and rushing inside, noticing and ignoring Koharu already standing up from her seat on the couch.  **_It’s too much._ ** Continuing on his flight he went up the stairs to the dorms, almost falling countless of times due to his lack of worry on pace. Next was the bedroom, having to stop himself for a second to remember that Satoshi was in there, skidding to a halt before turning to the side and heading to the bathroom. Of course, the loud pounding of boots and Koharu’s calls of his name ended up doing exactly what he had wanted to avoid, dread filling when the door of the shared room creaked open.

**_It’s too much._ **

Practically throwing himself onto the tiled floor he slammed the door behind him, back pressed against it as his shaky fingers swiftly pressed the lock in. As soon as he did he felt someone pound on the door, jumping and covering his mouth with both hands, scared out of his mind from the sudden impact.

“Gou, get out of there! Please, talk to us!” Pleading him, Koharu spoke to him through the door, simply putting his hands over his ears to try and drown it out.  **_It’s too much noise._ ** It failed. Every word still came through crystal clear, if not louder than before, wincing as his nails lightly dug into his scalp.

He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted it to stop, all of it. The noise, the fear, the bullying. Gou just wished it would all go away, knees giving out as he sunk down to the floor, roughly biting his lower lip to stop it from trembling. He couldn’t cry, because if he cried, he’d just feel worse. He’d get a headache, his eyes would be dry and puffy, and he wouldn’t be able to keep quiet. Then it got even harder to sit there.

“Koharu, can I handle this? ...Thank you.”

**_Satoshi._ **

His chest stilled for a moment, just now realizing that he had been hyperventilating when first running in, moving a hand to fist the bottom of his shirt. Things began to finally quiet down, his small panicked breaths and the sounds of the other leaning against the door being all that registered to ears, thankful that the noise and adrenaline finally went away.

“You don’t have to say anything, I understand. I know it seems like I don’t, and it’s a struggle for me sometimes, but I do right now. I’m just like you.”

_ ‘I understand.’ _ They were words that felt truly filled with meaning coming from Satoshi of all people, fingers trembling as his nails lightly pierced through the cotton fabric, sharp canine tooth pressing against bottom lip.  _ Don’t cry. You can’t cry. _ Continuing to try and hold it back he stayed silent still, even if he felt like saying a million words, unable to even piece them together in his head. But, wait…  _ just like you? Satoshi doesn’t mean… _

The realization hit him like a speeding train, eyes widening as he turned around, still sat on the floor as he now faced the door. Never in a million years did Gou think someone would even be remotely like him. Everyone else judged him and laughed at how he thought and processed things, but Satoshi… Satoshi didn’t. Thinking hard on it now, Satoshi was the closest he’s ever been to understanding another person. He could barely get his parents, and yet…

_ I hope I’m doing this right. _ The trainer rose from his spot on the floor, stretching out his knees and legs due to how stiff they had been starting to get, pressing a hand to the wooden door. “If there’s anything you need help with, I’m here, Gou... remember that, please.” Taking a step back Satoshi couldn’t help but linger there for a moment, almost hoping that he’d hear some sort of sound or movement from the room. Lifting his foot off the ground to give the boy space though, the click of a doorknob echoed into the hall, stopping himself and whipping his head around.

Gou left the room. His hands were nervously fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt, cheeks painted with tears that had newly begun flowing. They still were.  _ Oh, Gou... _ About to approach him Satoshi began to open his arms out, getting ready to hug him when arms stretched out to stop him. Instead of getting upset or feeling dejected, he gave a smile of understanding, nodding and putting his hands back at his sides. “Let’s go to the room, okay?” Softly asking he watched the other boy nod, smile growing as he began his trip to that room now. Mid-walk though, he was startled by something warm grabbing his hand. Or rather, someone.

_ Gou? _ Wearing a shy expression the boy only squeezed his hand gently, fingers intertwining themselves with Satoshi’s, seeming to be calming down at the small touch.  _ That’s good. _ Continuing on he slowly pushed the door to their bedroom open, making sure to walk in first while gently bringing Gou in with him, letting him be the one to shut the door behind them. Still not letting go, the catcher began to pull the other over deeper into the room, kneeling down by where they have their switch plugged in, turning it and the tv on.

Playing games always helped Gou feel better, moving himself to sit with his legs stretched out in front of him, Scorbunny-themed controller in his hands as he started up Pokemon Blade. Hearing Satoshi move next to him the boy eventually sat right behind him, making sure to hold a hand overtop one of his, the touch even more comforting than before.

\-----

As time passed, Gou found himself getting more and more invested, currently running around in circles in-game, hoping to hatch a shiny Pichu. He already had a shiny Scorbunny, so why not? _Oh, and he’s been leaning back into Satoshi’s chest for the past half hour._ Honestly he had forgotten that for a moment, having gotten calmed down enough that it didn’t really phase him, a heat rising to his cheeks though when it crossed his mind. Glancing down he noticed how his legs were crossed, Satoshi’s wrapped around and framing his, brain having to take a moment to realize _oh god he’s in his lap._

“Gou! It’s hatching!” Snapping out of his daze he shook his head, eyes wide as he quickly looked at the screen, blues shining as he watched each crack make its way onto the egg. Eventually a loud  _ crrk _ was heard, giving a small gasp, hearing Satoshi do the same from behind. Then, the screen shined, bright squares of glistening yellow appearing, revealing a shiny Pichu to them. “You did it! You got a shiny Pichu!” Happily laughing now the trainer moved his arms to hover around Gou’s waist, looking at him for permission before receiving a nod, smiling brightly while gently hugging him. Resting his chin onto the other’s shoulder he let out a happy hum, giggling a bit. “So, what’re you naming them?”

_ A name? Shoot, he didn’t think this far ahead. _ Raising a hand to his chin Gou tapped his finger against it, thinking for a moment before immediately grabbing the controller yet again. He knew the perfect name. The dings on the tv rang three times, the catcher feeling his ears warm up as he pressed the start button, confirming the name.  _ Ash. _ Feeling the arms around him loosen up a bit he couldn’t help but grow nervous, having already finalized it, heart race increasing and pounding against his chest. “You’re naming it after me?”

Taking a deep breath he turned around to look Satoshi in the eyes, gulping and ducking his head down a bit before nodding it.  _ Oh no, here it comes. _ Just as he tore his gaze away he heard a small  _ ‘aww’ _ , eyebrows raised in confusion as he looked at him again. Tilting his head to the side, black hair fell to frame his face, some against his cheek while the rest hung down, making a small questioning sound. Hearing and seeing this all, Satoshi couldn’t help but chuckle, brown eyes seeming to soften while staring down at Gou, ends of his lips shakily curling up. “That’s cute! I hope it evolves into a Pikachu just like mine!” Giggling at the end Satoshi gently hugged him, swearing he could melt when arms wrapped around him in return, lightly squeezing him close.

The embrace was the same as all the past ones the two have shared, but at the same time, something about this one made it different from the rest. Gou didn’t bother to linger on it though, taking a deep breath while resting his chin on the other’s shoulder. Waiting a few moments he parted his lips, hands lightly grasping small handfuls of the blue vest. “Thank you, Satoshi.” Finally getting comfortable enough to speak, he let the boy know just how much gratitude he had towards him for this moment. His voice sounded a bit hoarse, but the hint of tenderness managed to shine through.

Satoshi felt something when he heard the quiet soft voice, feeling a bit lighter than before. Now the mood shifted from playful and fun to gentle, the chirpy tune of the game still playing in their ears as they sat still, enveloped in each other. “You’re welcome, Gou. Like I said, I’m here for you. After all, we’re roommates, just a bunk bed away.” Normally Satoshi would’ve started laughing or cracking more jokes after saying something like that, but this time, he didn’t. He didn’t try and change the mood, letting it stay serene in every way. 

_ Satoshi understood him, and knowing that made the world feel a little less lonely. _


End file.
